‘Nothing, I just leave it there. Don’t tell me, you don’t stop us. Okay, last chance. He stops molesting me and says ‘Let’s go outside.’ I look at you, so he says to you, ‘I’m going to take your wife out the back and fuck her. Is that okay with you?’. You’re not going to let him are you? Come on. What do you say to him?’ She was looking fiercely at me. ‘Debbie…’ I pleaded. ‘What do you say to him? Yes or No,’ she demanded. ‘Yes,’ I groaned. She flung her hands up. ‘You dirty little man! It’s amazing you live with someone and you don’t know them. You would let this bloke fuck me in some pub car park, because you felt turned on.’ Then she stopped and a look of amazement came across her features. ‘This isn’t the first time you’ve thought about this is it? This is your fantasy isn’t it? Tell me, isn’t it?’ I was defeated by now. ‘Yes,’ I sighed. ‘You pervert! You’re my husband. You’re supposed to love me.’ ‘I do!’ I protested, but it was all too late. She was standing up now. ‘I’m going. We read mysteries, we read thrillers, we read avidly, and with each new book, we dissected and discussed. I suppose that it was books that created the spark; the desire for some passion in my life. We of course read E. L. James. The trilogy had received too much publicity for any self respecting woman’s book club to ignore. I had no inclination to investigate BDSM or find out if I had a dark side, but it did make me wonder if there was more to sex than the rather perfunctory ritual that Tom and I now occasionally performed. Tom was the only man that I had ever been intimate with, and I had always been content that it should be remain so. This yearning for something more did lead to my adding romance to my reading repertoire; not your everyday Mills and Boon, but books that explored the deeper side of relationships, particularly sexual relationships. Again, it is easy to see with hindsight how that was going to affect my behavior, even if I had not consciously decided I wanted to.
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